Balancing Act

Balance. It's a place so many of us struggle to find. I recently returned to my full time teaching job after maternity leave. I got to stay home with my Sweet P until she was nearly 3 months old (I know I'm fortunate for that time and fortunate that I work in a wonderful school that understands the needs of new moms). As I try to settle into this role of full time teacher, mom of two, wife, and crazy lady who has a part-time sewing business, I sometimes leave myself feeling...anxious. And then I think about all the things I'm doing and why I'm doing them.




I haven't even been back at work long enough to figure out what my morning routine is. (Will I ever figure it out?). Getting myself and my two girls out the door in the morning with everything we all need for the day feels nothing short of miraculous day after day. I know my husband wakes up with the older one and has breakfast, but after that I don't even know what happens it's such a whirlwind. I feel like every event leading up to strapping them in their car seats (please, God, don't ever let me forget THAT step!) is verging on the brink of disaster...why am I doing all this to myself?

Teacher

I mean, really. I teach high school math. Who even LIKES math? Oh wait! I do. Love it. LOOOOOOVE it. Love it. And with my little Etsy business, I like even more that I can tell students how I'm using math in my life outside of school. If you don't think you have to do math to run even a little Etsy shop, you're doing it wrong. Plus, I like my students. They make me laugh. And my coworkers are probably just the best.

I can't imagine leaving this job. I've tried, but I can't do it. It's the only grown-up job I've ever had. And it's become such a great place to work and to be.

Wife

My husband is my best friend. But being a *good* wife is also hard work. What does that even mean, "being a good wife"? It's changed so much as our society has grown. Part of the challenge is just having a little infant and a two year old who demand so much of our attention. Because that's what they are supposed to do at this age. We have a lot of fun together, both with the kids and without. But we could work on a little more balance and, I don't know, actually get out of our house just the two of us? Nah...

But I'm lucky. My husband is a great partner. We share all of the "grown up" duties, and (shhh, don't tell anyone) he might even take on more than his fair share. The sewing time takes away from our husband/wife time, and that's where I need to find more balance in this piece of life. What started as my own little thing to do when he's gone for/working on band activities has grown beyond those times. Which is, well, awesome. But also a challenge.

Being Mom

My favorite. But, like many my age, it's a struggle to live in the "now" and not try to think about the "next" all the time. Or to shut out the outside world and just.BE.with my girls and their daddy. Sometimes I need to do Ducktail work when the toddler isn't asleep. Those are challenging times. But sometimes they are really fun times. Sometimes she'll just sit on my lap and watch the sewing machine work. Sometimes she really just wants a scrap of fabric to use for a baby doll blanket. Other times she wants to help, so I let her spin the wheel a little or hold down the back-stitch lever. And then there are the times where she's just a little too antsy and wants to pull out ALL THE THREAD AND FABRICS. And that is hilarious and infuriating all at once and I know I just have to put everything down and go run around the house to play chase or swing her upside down or do puzzles or read books because, man, when that girl starts REALLY having fun the giggles are just contagious. 

I am so lucky to have these two precious, healthy girls and their amazing daddy to share my life with. We didn't get to go on vacation this summer (birthing a baby sometimes can put a [short term] damper on getting out of the state), but that's one thing I will always look forward to as a family: cross-country travels to see sights, learn history, and visit loved ones. It's going to be awesome.

Entrepreneur/Small Businesswoman

Back to the subject. I started this thing for my own personal enjoyment of creating. I will continue this thing for as long as I enjoy it. As new opportunities and challenges arise, I will greet them with a slightly firm, maybe a little timid handshake. I'm dreaming big. It's fun to dream. And it's so fun to see those dreams come to life. 

I so appreciate all the love and support I've gotten through this venture in the last year and a half. I still get nervous every time I get a notification that I got a message, thinking "oh no! Did something go wrong?" I really want all my customers to be happy with their purchase. It's scary to put my name, my creations, mySELF out there for others to decide if they like what I'm making. SCARY! But somehow I've gotten this far, and I'm anxious to keep moving. 

Just...keep it balanced!